In Loving Memory of These Beloved Horses
They Graced Our Farm...And Our Lives
It is always a tragedy to lose a beloved member of your family and to lose
is horse is no different. To honor our horses who are no longer with us, we
have created this page devoted to their memory.
Ms Rockin Bardell (Penny)
May 1, 1980-April 25, 2005
Description
1980 Mare 14.3 hands AQHA IBHA (Tested NFQHA 72%) Penny was our senior
mare on the farm. This was the year she was going to retire after weaning
her last foal due in April 2005. Penny was an excellent mare in all
respects. She
was excellent with kids. As a veteran broodmare, Penny took excellent care
of her foals and taught her foals to like people. Her foals are very
sociable and love attention.
I
always said it would be a sad day on the farm when Penny died. Penny was
very patient with people and other horses, but she didn't like people
fussing over her. She didn't like staying in a stall, which was sometimes a
problem if she needed treatment for something.
The large leg you see in her picture is the result of lymphangitis that she
had several years ago. The infection left her leg permanently enlarged. It
did not cause her pain, but always caused concern with new people.
.
I was determined to
see the last of Penny's foals being born. She always was able to slip the
birth in when people weren't watching. This year I was prepared with a
camera in her stall. In order to see at night, a light needed to be turned
on. The night she foaled, people were in the barn until about 9 p.m. She
was due soon, but there were no outward signs that this was the night. I
checked the monitor for her stall about 1 a.m. The light had not been
turned on so I could only see shadows -- the shadows of other ears. She did
it again! Under cover of darkness and with no outward signs of the delivery
at hand, she had the foal, a nice sorrel colt. The sire was my stallion, IM
Magic.
I went to the barn
to do all the baby things. The foal was up and dry, nursing and the
placenta out. No verdict on the pooping. I went in to dip the navel, and
Penny became very distressed. I decided to dip the navel and let them both
alone. Sometimes people interfere too much in the natural process of things
and make things worse. I gave her some hay which she just tore into. That
was unusual for her because she didn't eat or drink as much when she was
stalled, a source of concern if she was sick. I usually didn't worry much
because she went out during the day and got back on her normal routine.
The next day, Penny
seemed very tired. Well, she's 25 and she just had a foal. She's entitled
to be tired. Besides, the last two days were very cold and windy. The
weather seemed to take something out of all the horses. She just stood
there with her head lowered and eyes half closed. Not the life I saw the
night before. The baby was fine and nursing away. She wasn't eating or
drinking as much. A concern, but not great worry yet. We didn't take her
and the foal outside because she looked like she needed to rest and the
weather was so unpleasant.
By the next day,
April 25, she was not eating or drinking, not even lush new grass. We
called the vet and made an appointment for her to come out. She was
concerned she might colic, but no one felt it was an emergency. Penny was
just quiet. No signs of pain. No pacing, getting up and down, kicking or
looking at her belly, rolling, etc. She just stood there.
The vet came just
after noon, checked her vital signs and palpated her vaginally and
rectally. She found an impaction from eating and probably not drinking
enough. We gave her mineral oil and decided that the best thing to do was
to take her and the foal to the clinic where she could receive immediate
attention if anything went wrong. The vet felt it was serious and with
aggressive treatment, we should be able to move the impaction. No great
worry. The vet said she was in a significant amount of pain and was being
very stoic about it.
We loaded her and
the foal on the trailer and headed to the clinic a half hour away. Upon
arrival, I opened the trailer door and was shocked to find Penny laying
there dead and the foal in the front of the trailer. The impaction had
ruptured. The vet thought she was probably very concerned about her foal
right to the end and went down slowly while she was going into shock. Had
she just dropped in the trailer, she would have squashed the foal, and I
certainly would have felt 1000 pounds drop. As it was, I remember a little
movement like a gust of wind hit the trailer. The last two days had been
terribly windy so the movement didn't seem too unusual.
I now had an orphan
and had to go to work. It was too late to cancel my appointments. We
decided to leave the foal there, and I took Penny home in the trailer. I
felt better if the foal could be checked out thoroughly and tube fed until
he could nurse from a bottle. Besides, I had to make arrangements for
Penny. Upon arriving home and calling everyone associated with the farm
enroute, I had 20 minutes to change and leave for work. There was no time
to process how I felt about this. That came later. Only one month before
to the day, we just about lost the next older mare Tippy when she had a
breech delivery and went into shock later in the day. There was very little
hope for her and we lost the baby. Tippy made it. You can read that story
on her page in the "mares" section.
The next day, I had
Penny buried on the farm and brought the baby home. Now we had to set up a
feeding schedule. From a referral from the vet, we found a surrogate mare
whose foal had to be put down. After a few days, it seemed she just wasn't
going to accept our foal. The search began for anyone on our farm who would
be a friend to our little guy. In the process, people took him around the
farm, he met all the horses, played with my dogs in the dog kennel, played
with kids who work on the farm, etc. He came in the office, ran around the
barn and generally went everywhere with people. He is a very agreeable
little soul. Just the kind of foal Penny would have.
When we took him up
to the fence to meet horses, Caylee was very anxious to meet him, but she is
not a dominant horse and was pushed away. Later we brought her out to meet
the foal and she took to him right away. She was so proud to have this
baby. We of course would still have to feed the baby, but she could teach
him how to be a horse. Interestingly enough, she and Penny were best of
friends before Penny was moved to the "pregnant mares pasture" late last
fall. Caylee's two year old colt is Bailey. Penny's two year old colt is
Cajun, who is also a full brother to the new foal. Cajun and Bailey are
also good friends. The foal's sister Roxy also was very interested in him.
Sometimes on some levels, it seems they know who's who and have their
loyalties.
Whenever something
like this happens, I always go through what I call the "coulda, shoulda,
woulda's." The vet was second guessing herself too. I don't know if we are
just trying to make ourselves feel better, but the vet brought up a good
point. She said Penny made her choices too. Penny had been around and knew
the score. She chose to eat and not drink. She chose to hide her pain and
not allow us to help her. I think she knew she was going someplace where
people would fuss over her and that was not her plan. Sometimes, I think
animals choose their time to die. Penny wanted to do everything else her
own way. It seems fitting that she would also choose how to die.
It reminded me of
what used to happen in some Native American cultures. The elderly members
of the tribe reached a point where they didn't want to burden the rest of
the tribe. They chose to die by letting themselves freeze or starve to
death, and they considered such a death honorable. Maybe Penny was like
that too. She delivered the foal and decided her work here was done. I had
plans to send her to another farm under a lease for board arrangement when
her foal was weaned. That way she could live out her life being pampered
and making little kids happy. I guess Penny didn't go for that plan. What
a disappointment it would have been for the kids if she died when they just
got her! Penny wanted to be here I believe and chose her time. Even though
I wish she would have waited until weaning if she was going to do this, I
think this was a better time because of the other people that would have
been involved.
Dear pretty Penny.
You did it your way. We wish we could have had you longer, but thank you so
much for the time you were with us. You were a very special mare here and
you will be missed. Thank you for the foals you gave us -- Exquisite (not
pictured), Roxy, Cajun and your new foal. We'll take care of him for you
and find him a family who loves him.
Bloodline
Foals
Rainey's Ladybug (Mariah)
June 2, 1987 - May 23, 2004
I wasn't usually the one to bring the horses in, but today I did. Mariah
was one of the horses I brought in. She had a month old colt at her side.
While I was waiting for others so we could all go in together, I looked in
Mariah's eyes. It was late afternoon and the sun made her eyes look extra
warm and brown. She was probably pregnant to a stud that was homozygous for
black and tobiano, but it was a little too soon for the ultra sound to
confirm it. While I was waiting, I told Mariah what a wonderful mare she
was and what beautiful babies she made. I told her that she was probably
going to have another very special one next year and what a good mom she was
to her present baby, Blue.
When everyone else came, I got Mariah and Blue settled in her stall. She
was always eager to eat her feed and wasted no time getting to her stall.
She always gave us pretty black and white foals. When she wasn't being a
mom, she was well trained to ride. She also added a lot of color to the
pasture when you looked at the horses. She was a very quiet mare and
excellent mother to her foals. Hers was a special beauty both inside and
out.
That night we were supposed to have some thunderstorms. I always check the
barn before going to bed. Tonight I was late and didn't get to the barn
until about 3 a.m. after falling asleep watching TV. Thunder woke me up.
There was a lot of lightening too. There is a metal gate at the end of the
driveway. I always close this so horses will be on the property in case
they get out. The gate is on top of a hill. I drove in the car to close
the gate. Knowing that this was a risky thing to do, I was very quick about
it. I wanted to do that and get to the barn before the storm hit.
Back in the car and on the way to the barn, it started to pour. I got in
the barn and started to check everyone. The horses in the one pasture have
access to a portion of the barn. I walked into their area and there just
didn't seem to be enough horses, so I did a head count. Sure enough, two
horses were missing. One had been known to jump fences before, and I had
locked the gate. I looked outside and tried to see if they were in the
pasture when the lightening illuminated the pasture more. I couldn't see
them or hear them. Maybe they jumped the fence and now couldn't get back in
because I locked the gate. So when the rain let up, I drove back up the
driveway, opened the gate and drove to where I could shine the headlights in
the adjacent pasture. Nothing. So, after almost getting stuck, I drove
back to the barn, leaving the gate open.
It started pouring again. I couldn't see anything in the pasture. Surely
these two would be in with the other horses if they were OK. I was very
worried about them. While I was waiting for the rain to let up, I ran
through the barn and checked everyone's stalls. I didn't do as much as I
usually do such as go in and pet them or play with the babies. I just
checked that everyone was OK. Mariah and her colt were up and eating. All
was well with that group.
I went back out to the pasture entrance and tried to watch for the horses.
The rain let up and I called for them. I heard footsteps slogging in the
mud. I then saw them on the other side of the pasture. There was so much
water running down the hill that they were afraid to cross it. I made my
way out of the barn through the mud calling them. They came running in as
we met each other half way. Now that they were safely in the barn. I wrote
down the events of the evening in our log book that we keep to help us all
know what's been going on. I considered that the emergency of the night. I
was soaked, muddy and tired. I quickly drove back up the driveway to close
the gate again, drove to the house and went to bed.
At 8:30 a.m. I got a call from the barn to call the vet. Mariah had broken
her leg and it didn't look good. I started to call when they called me back
and said it was too late. Mariah was dead. How could this be??? I just
saw her a few hours ago. How could she break her leg in her stall??
I called the vet anyway to check her out. She looked like she had been
standing with her right side to the aisle side stall wall. She just fell
forward. Her head and neck were turned up from hitting the wall in front of
her. There were no marks in the bedding except a track leading from under
her body backward to the broken leg. To me, it looked as if she just
dropped and broke her leg in the fall, possibly of an aneurysm.
Blue, her month old foal was hungry and couldn't understand why mom didn't
respond. It was heartbreaking to watch him lay his head on her belly and
bite her face to try to get her up. The next problem besides getting
Mariah out of the stall was feeding the baby. After calling around a little
I tried a friend who also raises horses, she has many more foals than I do
in a year, so I thought maybe she had something we could feed the baby. She
told me she had a mare who had a foal that night, but the foal never made it
out of the sack and died. The mare was very distressed about the loss of
her foal. We decided to give it a try.
We milked Mariah and put it on the new mare's udder. They also had some of
the placenta, which we rubbed on our baby. After exchanging scents, it
didn't take long for her to take to her new baby. It was interesting
because they both seemed to know that they didn't belong to eachother but
they needed eachother. The mare knew she had a job to do and the colt knew
he needed this mare to live. We were so lucky to have her and so fortunate
that someone would allow us to keep her for a while.
In thinking about the events leading up to Mariah's death, I was amazed at
how things just seemed to work out. I got a chance to say what I wanted to
say to her although I didn't know I was saying good-bye. She stayed alive
until I came up to the barn the last time. I've noticed that the horses
know that there will be a "bed check," and sometimes things happen after
the "jailer" is gone. Maybe Mariah thought it was her time to go. She got
the baby to where he didn't need her quite as much. There was a surrogate
mare available. She may not have wanted any more foals. If she was
pregnant, it wasn't that old.
A few years before, Mariah didn't get pregnant, but should have. We were
surprised at that but thankful around Christmas time when she had colic and
required surgery. Had she been with foal we would probably have lost both
of them. So even that worked out. Unlike previous deaths, the horses were
not upset. It's not that they didn't like Mariah. I think on some level
they knew and accepted it.
Mariah was one of our best horses. She will be greatly missed but
remembered through her foals she had with us -- Sierra, Blackhawk and Blue..
Bloodline
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Foals
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Radies Lady Music (Lady)
June 11, 1997-December 5, 2002
Lady
was one of the original horses that came from Idaho. Ironically, she and
Moxie were the first two to come to Wisconsin on that buying trip. Moxie
died five weeks later (See Magic Babies). Lady died suddenly in December
2002. The experience of her death and the weeks that followed will be something I'll never forget because of the amazing things that happened.
That December morning started for me with a tearful call from my farm manager telling me that we had a dead horse in the pasture. She drove in the driveway and almost immediately knew something was wrong. For about the last month, she always sort of looked at the woods somehow expecting to see something, but she didn't know what. That day, her worst fears were confirmed when she saw legs sticking up in an unnatural position in the woods. The horses who would normally be mingling around the large round bales were standing off to one side by the driveway huddled together in silence. They all solemnly watched her as she drove in.
She walked down to the body. The other horses never moved. It was obvious nothing more could be done. There was a large amount of blood coming out Lady's nose, her body was stiffening and there was a thin layer of ice on her eye. There was no sign of a struggle or even the slightest thrash mark. It looked as though she just dropped like a stone. What happened? Was she shot? Poisoned? What about the other horses? Were they at risk too?
My manager did a few chores to gather her composure and called me with the news. I called the vet and we waited to see what had happened to our Lady.
I guess we didn't know what to expect and were pretty stunned ourselves over her death. I guess we knew she'd have to be cut open in order to find out what happened. We just weren't prepared.
When the vet came, we stood by in the freezing cold choking back tears as we watched the vet open Lady up and pull her apart looking for an answer. He was very sensitive about the matter, but it was a job none of us enjoyed.
He found that she had a tear in her stomach that had apparently been leaking and rotting out her insides for quite some time. There was no way to know how or when this happened. He said she probably didn't experience much discomfort until the end and then just dropped.
Her death was something that touched all of the people and the horses. The grief in the horses was obvious, some more than others. Snickers was visibly depressed. She seemed to know her mom was gone. Lucky, my Rocky Mountain horse took over as Snickers protector and the leader of the herd. Some horses would come up to you and just want you to cradle their heads in your arms. The most noticeable and sometimes dangerous behavior was at feeding time for about two weeks after Lady died.
We feed them in the barn. The all come in, go two to a stall and leave after feeding. Most days, this is a pretty quiet or at best a little disorganized.
At the risk of offending people with conservative viewpoints, all I can say is you may have changed your mind as to the existence of spirits had you observed what we lived through during that time. However, you want to explain it, there was something there at especially feeding times that especially Lucky saw or sensed. The horses would come literally stampeding in and out of the barn causing us to jump into stalls. It was obvious that they were looking at specific things, snorting and blowing at seemingly nothing and bolting in and out of the barn.
I did have an animal communicator visit the farm to settle some issues regarding Lady. She first visited the farm when Moxie died and has been back a few other times. I've taken classes with her to hopefully help me be a better caretaker of my horses. Asia Voight has a long track record of extremely on target readings. She is used to dealing with skeptics and can make a believer out of most anyone with her gift of being able to hear the animals. Being able to communicate with the animals was particularly helpful for them in dealing with their loss as well and helping them understand what happened to their friend. Whether you believe in this or not, some pretty weird and miraculous stuff was going on.
I'm always amazed at how big and strong horses are. Their skin is tough enough to take a bite or kick from another horse but yields to a gentle touch. They definitely have feelings. They are very sensitive to any change in their environment and grieve when a member of the herd is lost. I have always had a soft spot for animals. Watching them and living with them makes me all the more committed to making sure the horses that come from my farm find like-minded people if they go to new homes.
Lady appears to have had the purpose of bringing me Snickers, the mule and Cowboy. Once her purpose was fulfilled, she left us. She was greatly loved and is deeply missed by her horse and human friends.
Bloodline
Foals
Maximillion Magic (Moxie)
The
original Moxie is a big part of the story behind Black Forest Farm, LLC. I
first saw her half sister Voodoo when she first came from Idaho. I was so
impressed with how she looked, but couldn't afford to buy her. I asked her
owner where one could find a horse like her. She told me Voodoo was a
daughter of this nice Quarter Horse stallion, IM Magic who was a son of
Impressive. I asked if there might be other horses at this ranch that would
be like Voodoo. When she revisited the ranch, Moxie was one of the horses
she found, Calypso was the other. That trip was the fateful trip when I
purchased Magic and most of the other horses and brought back Moxie. I
finally got Voodoo in 2002. Only five weeks after I brought Moxie home, I lost her. It was one of the very saddest days on the farm.
The day started with my dog frantically jumping all over me in bed. I thought she had to go out, so I let her out the front door. There was a deer standing in the driveway. She ran out and chased the deer. The deer ran toward the horse pasture and jumped the fence. I couldn't see everything through the trees, but the then 5 horses ran a little and stopped. I couldn't see them all and I wondered if they were all OK, but they were quiet now, and I was still so tired, so I went back to bed.
That morning was unusually busy with phone calls, so I didn't get out to feed right away. At one point I carried my African Grey parrot downstairs. Her wings are clipped and she can't fly, but that day she flew 60 feet across the lower level, then flew up and hit a glass plate that was hanging above the window. It had an image of a horse and rider on it and is the only plate that has a horse on it in the house. It fell to the floor and broke. I just picked up the pieces and set them aside for the moment and went on with my work.
When I went out to feed there were only four horses grazing in the pasture and no Moxie anywhere in site. My heart sank as I knew something was terribly wrong. I got help and we started combing the pasture for her. We found her across the pasture on the other side of the fence with her back up against the fence. Her feet were up hill, so she couldn't get up. You could see she had been thrashing and had pulled herself along the fence line. There was blood on the non climb fence (small squares). I couldn't tell where the blood came from yet.
We frantically called the vet and got a wire cutters. We cut the fence and rolled her into the pasture fully expecting her to now get up. About that time the vet came. She wasn't getting up. He looked very grim and my heart sank again as I somehow knew inside we were going to lose her.
The vet gave her some medication to keep her comfortable. He said he would come back in a little while to check on her and see how the medication was working. We tried desperately to get her up. The other horses came by and looked helplessly on. The vet came back. She had made no progress. He did some tests to see if there was any hope. He started poking down her spine to see what she could feel. At one point, the twitching stopped. She was paralyzed. Then I realized that in all the thrashing, I had never seen her hind legs move. At the accident site, she had pulled herself along the fence so far that the disturbed dirt could have come from either the front or rear legs. He suggested we put her down. There was just no hope.
I wasn't quite ready to let her go, and I asked him to make her as comfortable as possible and give it just a little more time. He did so, and said he would be back soon, but if there was no improvement, there was no chance of saving her.
I guess that time was for our good-byes. I had heard about animal communication but hadn't done it before. I heard that when it's time to put our pet to sleep, they will tell you when they are ready to go. This is absolutely the most miserable time about owning a pet. Making the decision to kill your friend.
I had already brought a blanket out for her head and set up a tent to shield her eyes from the sun. As she was thrashing, she beat her face on the ground and her left eye was badly bruised. Periodically, we had to roll her from side to side. The blood came from her head scraping the fence. There were no other marks on her underside, legs or hooves. Moxie had been running up hill at an angle and cleared a four foot fence. On the other side, she apparently lost her balance, fell over backward and broke her back. She was only 2 years old. What a wonderful talent she would have had if she lived.
I spent our time together telling her that she was hurt very badly and what happened to her. I told her that I was so sorry that I couldn't fix her and so sorry I didn't find her sooner. I knew it wouldn't have made a difference in the outcome, but she wouldn't have suffered as long. I thanked her for being here on the farm with me, how much I loved her and how beautiful she was. I thanked her for adopting a little weaning colt and being his mom when he first came to the farm and was lonely. I explained to her what was going to happen, and that if she couldn't get up, I was going to help her cross over to a place where it wouldn't hurt anymore. I told her that when that happened, we couldn't be together anymore and she couldn't be with her horse friends anymore, but she was going to be OK. I told her that I would stay with her and hold her the whole time.
When the vet came back I held her for the first injection that just put her out. I again told her I loved her and that she was going to be OK. I tried to choke back the tears but there was no way to hide my emotions. The other horses watched from a distance. The vet gave her the fatal dose and my beautiful Moxie passed quietly to another place.
When the vet left, I just bawled. The other horses came around and smelled her body. The little weanling was visibly lost and depressed. All of a sudden I remembered the broken plate and in an instant I knew where the image of the horse was broken on the plate. I ran back to the house and picked up the pieces of the plate. Sure enough, the break in the plate severed the horse's back where Moxie's back was broken and the hind quarters were broken off. There is one piece that is the whole hindquarter.
I got a chill. I know all this stuff. The animals were trying to tell me all morning what had happened and I didn't listen. I saved the plate.
A few days later, I got to thinking of how I could replace my loss. Certainly, I could not have this horse back, but I did have her sire, Magic. I looked on her papers to see who her dam was, Tippys Classy Babe. i called the former owner and asked if he knew where this Tippy was. He said, "Oh sure. She's in a pasture in West Yellowstone. She has a black filly at her side by Magic and she is in foal to Magic." I immediately told him I wanted Tippy and her filly and bought them sight unseen.
The filly is Moxii Magic, the namesake for my Moxie that died. The unborn foal is Cayenne Magnum Magic (Cay) and Sable Sensation (Sable) was a black filly born in 2002. She will eventually be a broodmare for the family that bought her. And the legacy continues. Had it not been for that terrible tragedy, I would not have bought Tippy and Moxii and two local families would not have found their special horse in Cay and Sable.
Tippy will continue to be bred to Magic as long as she can have foals. She and Magic share a special bond also. They seem to like each other no matter how pregnant Tippy is.
My thanks to Maximillion Magic (Moxie) for the love and light she brought to this farm and for the legacy she created.
Parents
Dam Tippy |
Sire Magic |